Miley Rides a Hot Dog, Bangerz Tour Ticket Sales Plummet

Doesn’t twerking look like the act of a diseased dog in Tijuana with bad diarrhea? It’s soooo 2013. I got a slight theory: Miley Cyrus does things to attract publicity. No I’m serious. She does things like ride giant phallic hot dogs, because hot dogs are in the same shape as penises, get the connection? Miley Cyrus is so shocking! in a very contrived PR-media-blitz, crotch-grabbing sort of way.

Apparently, Miley’s 15 minutes of twerking might be over. According to The Hollywood Gossip:

Industry analysts say it’s not the fear that the show will be canceled that’s keeping fans away. Instead, they claim sluggish sales on the European leg of the tour are simply the result of overpriced tickets and an act that may be growing stale.

Forbes estimated that Miley has failed to sell out “as many as half” of the remaining concerts on her tour; uncommon for an artist of her stature. Miley has been accused of knee-jerk attention-getting stunts to get her name in the Buzzfeed headlines, but two hours of the same stunts would get very tedious.

According to Noisey, here’s how the show goes down:

She begins the show pleasuring herself on the top bonnet of a car, before aggressively attacking her crotch while screaming at the crowd to “mind your business, stay in your lane bitch, I’m a southern belle, I get crazier than hell.” Later, she flies through the arena straddled across a giant hot dog and, in one video interlude, appears gagged with tape on her tits and flowers sticking out her anus. 

Get it: she used to be Hannah Montana, that’s the joke! The over-sexualization comes across as trying to hard, and plummeting ticket sales trumpet that the joke just isn’t funny anymore. No matter how edgy Miley might think she is, her core group of fans are most likely accompanied to the concert by their parents, who are paying for the tickets. I imagine the most entertaining thing about the Bangerz tour is witnessing the stunned expression on dads forced to watch the onslaught with their kids.

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