What a ride this is! What criminal depravity I’m getting into! I had always wanted to explore bestiality and incest and obscure fetishes, but I was waiting for some people in black robes to sign off on gay marriage first. Now anything goes! The concepts of decency, humility and normality have all gone out the window. I think I might have sex with a cantaloupe. At last!

 

Though, in all seriousness, I do have to warn you: it’s a dangerous slippery slope. Oh, sure, we all want to enjoy the decadence of late Rome, vomiting in the streets from too much carnal pleasure, but there’s a terrible price to pay for this libertine behavior. It’s just that I got to the end of the slippery slope last night, and it turns out the bottom is poured concrete, and I think I sprained my ankle. Otherwise, have fun!