The So-Called “Golden Tweets” Of The Year

I can’t have been the only person to get multiple emails from the folks at Twitter about which of this year’s Tweets were the most popular. And whatever I expected to find upon finally clicking through (out of morbid curiosity, you could say), it was not what I found: ample proof that Twitter is categorically useless.

In first place, with 810,000+ Retweets and 300,000+ favorites, is “Four more years,” from Barack Obama’s official feed as the election was called for the incumbent president. After that, in order, were: Justin Bieber mourning a dead six-year-old fan, TJ Lang of the Green Bay Packers bitching about NFL replacement refs, Great Britain counting their Olympic medals, and two anime voiceover stars from Japan announcing their marriage. All in all, stuff that everyone knew already, or was nobody else’s business.

But can social media really be this blandly informative and emotionally direct? Where were the terrible stand-up comedians trying too hard? Or the thousands of messages that began “I’m not racist, but …” Where were the nude pictures posted publicly by mistake? The flagrant errors of grammar and spelling? Those dudes who write jokes about Taco Bell and Foucault simultaneously, in all caps? WHERE WAS REAL TWITTER, I MEAN? This was like giving the Pulitzer Prize to amNewYork just because they print several billion copies every morning. What is this, Web 1.5? For shame.

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